did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize