where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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