Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
3pm strippers are depressing
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
