strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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