i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
