my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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