I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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