I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Randomize
