If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
