Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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