My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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