You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
