38 yer olds are good kisserssss
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
