Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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