I just made out with a guy for $7.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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