Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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