WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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