Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
