Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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