someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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