And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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