The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
