I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
