redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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