I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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