If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
