So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
