All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
