Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
