His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
