Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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