But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
