NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
