Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
