just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
lets start a swedish sibling band together
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
