this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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