you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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