Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
