He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
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