They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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