i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
third nipple confirmed
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I'm really busy with my period
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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