i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
