I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize