the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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