Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize