The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
