Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
