You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
