hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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