after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
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It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
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Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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