yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He shit in the fireplace
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
