well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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