So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
