Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
