Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
