So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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